Depression and anxiety as a military spouse
Depression and anxiety have the ability to affect anyone. Young, old, male, female, football star, or even a business owner. Unfortunately, we’re all susceptible to life’s struggles.
It can be hard for us military spouses though. Milspouses have an additional set of problems that set us apart from other spouses. We lack social support, we’re uprooted every some odd years due to PCSing, we lack career stability and we deal with separation and uncertainty. We’re constantly plagued with change that is out of our control.
How do we mitigate the symptoms of depression and anxiety being a milspouse while knowing these things? Here are some tips, tailored for us milspouses.
Don’t isolate
The most likely scenario is that you don’t live near any family and you haven’t yet created a social network where you currently live. It can be hard to create a social network when you believe that it isn’t worth it. You’re just going to move again so what’s the point, right? But that’s the beauty of it. You might leave your new found friends eventually, but I guarantee that there are plenty of memories to be made that you’ll remember forever. So go out there and find people that you vibe with. There are plenty of ways to find some support, it just takes a little courage to get up and get out there.
Find a spouse group
Invite your spouse’s co-workers over for dinner
Volunteer
Find a sport or hobby
Go on social media
Go to the park
If you have children, use them to your advantage. Host play-dates, go to the library events on base, or sign them up for sports or some other type of activity. There may be other milspouses that may be in the same boat as you.
Find a hobby (that doesn’t involve your spouse)
Literally do anything that gets that brain going. Nothing good comes from sitting around all day eating chips, binging RuPaul’s Drag Race and doom scrolling Instagram. Hobbies can provide relaxation, distraction, social interaction, and emotional expression which all support our mental health. Bringing in hobbies to our everyday life contributes to a balanced and fulfilling life which is essential to our well being. Need some ideas?
Journal those feelings
Bake
Garden
Blog (I’m doing this right now, as a milspouse. It doesn’t make any money, but it is something to do)
Learn something new (Like a language, an art, or maybe take some classes online)
Art
Yoga
Photography
Gaming (video games, board games, Dungeons and Dragons)
Volunteer (events on base, an animal shelter, Red Cross)
Join a club (dance, book, music)
Join a sport
Join an exercise group (running, walking, hiking)
Find the things that you can control
There are many obstacles with being a military spouse and many of those obstacles we have no control over. Thinking about things that you can’t control will just bring more worry. Don’t beat yourself up at the things that you aren’t able to control. Instead, find the things that you can control. Like:
The time you wake up and go to bed
What to eat for a snack
The type hobby you engage in
How often you call your loved ones
How you set boundaries
How you communicate with others
Your level of honesty
How often you move your body
How often you give attention to either the positive or negative things in your life
Be kinder to yourself
Now’s the part where you get to give yourself a nice big compassionate hug and let yourself know that you aren’t alone and that it’s ok to struggle. It’s ok to worry about when the next deployment or TDY is going to be. It’s ok to worry about where your life is heading and what your purpose in life is. It’s an unfortunate truth that we sometimes just have to deal with what life throws at us. It’s ok to be sad and angry at missed opportunities, having your life being uprooted time and time again, and being left alone for months at a time while your spouse is doing who knows what. Yes, we might have signed that marriage license, but we’re still allowed to feel negative emotions. So, just remember that you’re doing your best and that your best is good enough.
Disclaimer: The content provided on this mental health blog is for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional advice or treatment. Always consult with a qualified mental health professional for personalized guidance. The blog owner and authors are not responsible for any actions taken based on the information provided on this blog.
If you are in a crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 or visit your local Emergency Room for assistance.
Are you struggling with life's challenges, feeling overwhelmed, or seeking a path to personal growth and healing? Whether it be depression, anxiety, life transitions, or general life stress, I'm here to help. You don't have to go through this journey alone. Start your healing journey now – make that call, send that email, or book your first therapy session. Your well-being is worth it, and there is hope for a happier, healthier you.
